So I told y’all I always have a gazillion things going on in my head and I wasn’t lying. Over the course of my 35 years, I’ve felt at times that I’m not really good enough…like I could be better. Like other people had their stuff all figured out and I was still scrambling to find my path. I’ve always been more of a dreamer than a doer because of those self-limiting beliefs that plagued me for a lot of years. A lot of times I would get really close to doing something, but then I would quit or think “how in the world could I do that?” However, a couple of years ago, I started changing my focus. I started trying to figure out me. I started thinking that I could do the things that I wanted to do. One of those things was to write a children’s story. I have had this in the back of my mind for years and years. I never exactly knew the path I wanted it to take, but I wanted it to have something to do with confidence and realizing your purpose and having others believe in you when you didn’t believe in yourself. I had this idea of a little seed, like a child, looking around and seeing all these other types of seeds being picked, and starting to wonder when someone would realize that he was great too. Then I thought of my mom, who throughout all the times I felt like saying “why not me, why am I not good enough?”, would help me believe that I was. And then I thought of my precious grandmother, who did the same. Who always believed in me and always told me I was beautiful and worthy and amazing. She meant the world to me. I started writing this little story while my grandma was dying, which also happened to be around the time my marriage was falling apart. But peeps, even in the darkest of days, you can find beauty. This story gave me comfort just by writing it down and reading it over and over again. I didn’t know if it was really any good, or if anyone else would ever want to read it. So it just sat in a little file on my computer. But then one night, out of the blue, I sat up in bed and decided to submit it online to some sort of publishing place. It was the first step in me believing in me. Almost instantly after I hit the submit button, my dad called and told me my grandma had passed away. I drove down to Austin to be with her and I sat in her room until they came and took her away. As I walked out of hospice that night, I stopped at the desk and my heart stopped for a second. Staring me straight in the face was a pot full of Forget-me-Nots. Fate? You decide.
The Little Seed
At a tiny hardware store, way in the back, was a collection of seeds on its own little rack.
In one of those packets lived a special little seed.
He was destined for greatness, but he needed to be freed.
Little Seed watched, day in and day out, the people walk by and he wanted to shout,
“Pick me, pick me! I am as awesome as can be. I can do amazing things, you will see!”
But day in and day out, the people walked by. Some stopped to look, but none stopped to buy.
An old woman’s flowerbed needed something new, so she chose Red Poppy seeds for their beautiful hue.
“Why not me?” asked the seed, with a curious stare. “I’m just as pretty as those flowers there.”
“Don’t worry, little seed”, mama said with a smile, “your day will come; just wait a while.”
A few days passed when a farmer came to call, but he chose Sunflower seeds so they would grow tall.
“I can grow tall. If they plant me, they will see. Mommy, mommy, why not me?”
“It’s not your job to be tall, I promise you’ll see. You’ll do so much more. Just wait till you see what you have in store.”
A child walked in with a few cents to spare and got a packet of Marigold seeds to spread everywhere.
“Why not me?” asked the seed, with a hint of despair. “I’ll never get picked. No one needs me. They don’t care.”
“Now, now, little seed. I told you to wait. Your time is coming and your job will be great.”
At that moment, the bell on the door made a jingle. In his tummy, the little seed felt a tingle.
A beautiful woman walked straight to the back and took a deep breath when she saw little seed’s pack.
“Perfect”, she said, with a break in her voice. She didn’t think twice, he was her choice.
They drove for a while, around curves and up a hill, then pulled into a cemetery where the car got still.
She gathered supplies and then dropped to her knees. She dug a few holes and then pulled up some weeds.
Little seed and his mama were placed in a hole, and she told him to be proud for they’d reached their goal.
Time passed by slowly and little seed was confused.
He was still in the ground, and he wasn’t amused.
Every day the woman would come water his spot, but he wasn’t growing tall, he definitely was not.
That following spring, when the sun began to shine, up rose little seed from the ground like a sign.
He stretched out his petals, reached up toward the sky, and soaked in the warmth that was coming from up high.
He had made it, he had grown, he was a lovely shade of blue. It took longer than he thought, but his destiny had come true.
His mama was close and he heard her say, “See, little seed. I told you to wait. This, little seed, this is your fate.
From now on, you will bring peace when you come alive on this lot.
Because, little seed, you are…and always will be…my beautiful Forget-Me-Not.”